Terror Firma - Demo-lition
You know what, sometimes it's the simple things in life that make it worth living- such as checking my inbox and going through all of the albums I've been sent, only to come across something so hilariously terrible that it makes Super Collider look like Mental Vortex. Yes, it's really happened; I've actually been sent something so bad that even Super Collider's colossal shittiness has morphed into a basking golden glow of salvation, which I'm pretty sure is considered to be one of the harbingers of the apocalypse.
It really pains me to be so harsh on a bunch of young upstarts, but Demo-lition's bland genericalness stretches far beyond its title and cover. The vocals are a faint raspy whisper with no power behind them, lyrics are crammed in where they simply don't fit, solos are a directionless widdly mess, the production is thinner than Tesco's bin liners and the riffs are so horrendously unoriginal that it borders on plagiarism. Then we have the 'backing vocals' on track two, which I'm hesitant to even call vocals as that would give them vague recognition for any sort of musical merit; who got their friend drunk and persuaded him to ramble and slur his words into a microphone? For the first time ever, I'm actually at a loss for words. Really. There are no words that can describe how terrible this is.
There are two major upsides to Demo-lition, and though neither will manage to raise its score from the depths that it's plunged itself into (which is probably somewhere between Adolf Hitler and Margaret Thatcher) they at least warrant significant mention. A. it ends within five minutes, which is somewhat merciful, and B. there is absolutely no way that Terror Firma could release anything worse than this, as doing so would disintegrate the fabrics of existence and cause a singularity. I understand that every band has to start somewhere, but even that's no justification for something that's so horrendously awful that I'm actually struggling to come up with anything to say about it whatsoever, let alone give it the Dingram snark that most other shitty (yet depressingly, BETTER) releases are subjected to. Lads... do some homework. Listen to something that isn't thrash for influence, learn to play your instruments in time with one another, then come back and try again later. But no matter how good your next release may be, it will never make up for the painful experience of having to endure this atrocity.
And as a footnote, I am hereby giving Demo-lition the award for 'Worst Release Ever' which is a title that it will hold indefinitely until something worse comes out. Which should be just in time for Dimebag Darrell's comeback tour.
It really pains me to be so harsh on a bunch of young upstarts, but Demo-lition's bland genericalness stretches far beyond its title and cover. The vocals are a faint raspy whisper with no power behind them, lyrics are crammed in where they simply don't fit, solos are a directionless widdly mess, the production is thinner than Tesco's bin liners and the riffs are so horrendously unoriginal that it borders on plagiarism. Then we have the 'backing vocals' on track two, which I'm hesitant to even call vocals as that would give them vague recognition for any sort of musical merit; who got their friend drunk and persuaded him to ramble and slur his words into a microphone? For the first time ever, I'm actually at a loss for words. Really. There are no words that can describe how terrible this is.
There are two major upsides to Demo-lition, and though neither will manage to raise its score from the depths that it's plunged itself into (which is probably somewhere between Adolf Hitler and Margaret Thatcher) they at least warrant significant mention. A. it ends within five minutes, which is somewhat merciful, and B. there is absolutely no way that Terror Firma could release anything worse than this, as doing so would disintegrate the fabrics of existence and cause a singularity. I understand that every band has to start somewhere, but even that's no justification for something that's so horrendously awful that I'm actually struggling to come up with anything to say about it whatsoever, let alone give it the Dingram snark that most other shitty (yet depressingly, BETTER) releases are subjected to. Lads... do some homework. Listen to something that isn't thrash for influence, learn to play your instruments in time with one another, then come back and try again later. But no matter how good your next release may be, it will never make up for the painful experience of having to endure this atrocity.
And as a footnote, I am hereby giving Demo-lition the award for 'Worst Release Ever' which is a title that it will hold indefinitely until something worse comes out. Which should be just in time for Dimebag Darrell's comeback tour.
- Lunatic Lullaby
- Education Devastation
Self released
Reviewer: Dave Ingram Jr.
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014
Next review:
Exodus - Blood In, Blood Out
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